Have you ever walked into a coffee shop and wondered about striking up a conversation with the person at the next table? Coffee Companions is a new initiative which helps you to know who does, and who doesn’t want to talk. Our guest blogger Caroline Billington tells us more.
Plucking up courage is the start, but fear of rejection, and the knowledge that a lot of people simply don’t want to chat puts you off. In a world where people check their mobile phones an average of 85 times a day, and spend more than eight hours a day on an electronic device, the more traditional ways of communicating seem to be getting lost. And so you sit there alone, two people who would love to have a friendly one-to-one, but don’t know it.
Now there is a simple, discreet and clear way of knowing who does and doesn’t want to talk, without even asking. Coffee Companions is a new social enterprise which has developed Chat Mats; two sided laminated discs, with both a red and a green side, to indicate whether the person is happy to ‘Say hello and have a chat’, or ‘Not today, maybe another time’.
Coffee Companions has a vision of creating contacts, building healthy communities, by letting others know when their company would be welcome – starting with a cup of coffee.
We know that social isolation has serious health implications and is equated to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. “Creating contacts” can therefore improve health and reduce the need for GP visits or hospital care. Chat Mats also provide choice; we need to respect the right to privacy. For some, being able to be part of a social environment, without the need to engage with it, will enable a tentative first step.
Many will use their Chat Mats in a high street coffee shop, but there is no limit to locations. It could be the supermarket café, the restaurant at a tourist attraction, a leisure centre, hospital or workplace.
Chat Mats are for anyone to use anywhere, at any time. There is no need for club membership, specific meeting times, or volunteers to administer the initiative. Individuals simply need to buy, or be given, Chat Mats.
The health, social and emotional benefits can then be extended into the community by using health and care professionals to share the concept:
- GPs who want a social prescription they can physically hand over (in time, with a list of locally registered locations offering a Companions Hour). This could be linked to a leisure centre with a coffee shop so that social and physical activity are combined
- Older people referred to a befriending or ‘home from hospital’ scheme that need a helping hand to the next stage could use them when out with a carer
- Staff who have moved to be near work and want to know where to find information about the local community, and people to chat to
- Along with anyone else, anywhere, at any time.
This article has had 3 comments
My problem with this suggestion is that while, generally speaking, I don’t want to be approached by a stranger while I’m drinking my cup of tea, yet sometimes a conversation will get going that I’m completely happy with; sometimes just a few words are okay and might be enough to make the difference to someone who wanted a chat. So if I put my mat down I will discourage the few words as well as the “surprise” longer chat, and if I put it up the other way I will have given up my “right” to a quiet cup of tea.
I’ve been thinking about this. Perhaps it needs to be some sort of “traffic lights system”, with three options:
* don’t talk to me under any circumstances
* not sure,
* please, please, please talk to me, i’m desperate
(Obviously the last one needs refining!)
I’ve been on my own for ten years since my wife found someone else , I live on my own and also work at / from home on my own
I’m good at striking up conversation and generally find people very responsive but just lately the isolation seems to have intensified and has begun to feel like solitary confinement
It’s all my own doing and yet I’ve become like a rabbit staring into the headlights of impending doom – I just don’t seem able to get myself up and going. Very dark thoughts about bothering to carry on are never far away, this is the first time I’ve written this or told anyone
Day after day night after night the isolation is crucifying , a trip to the shop is a great highlight
My work has now all but dried up which is indeed terrible doing nothing is not good I’m awful when work is quiet and now seems to have stopped altogether
I just don’t know what to do, I darn’t say anything to anyone in case I become a cause of concern a burden , especially to my children to whom I smile and wear a brave face saying I’m fine I’m fine
What to do, who to turn to
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